


I Feel Perfect in Your Eyes

by pagethepunisher



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 10:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14259138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagethepunisher/pseuds/pagethepunisher
Summary: You and Bucky are so obviously in love with each other. So why is it so hard to say 'I love you'?





	I Feel Perfect in Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Fluuuuuuuufffff. At the end tho.

It had been more than two years since you had been in your beloved New York City. Your last mission had made you leave without a proper goodbye to your friends. But leaving hadn't been the hardest part for you, it was returning. During your mission, you had completely disassociated with any feelings because it was easier for you this way. You knew better than anyone that being an Avenger and having a normal life were not mutually exclusive. It was going to be a challenge to get used to your old life.

Stark had sent a car to pick you up and take you to the tower. The ride was long, giving you plenty of time to think about everything you had shoved to the back of your mind for the past two years. You made a game for yourself to keep busy, guessing the next street name before you passed the sign. Before you knew it you were at the tower. The driver got your single duffle bag from the trunk and opened your door.

“Welcome home.” He said with a smile. You, however, didn't respond. You were staring up at the tower in awe. _I'm home_ , you immediately thought and had to stop yourself from running into the building like a little kid on a sugar high. You grabbed you bag from the driver and quickly headed into the building to the commons floor. You were so filled with emotions you were ready to burst. You could see all of their faces in your mind, all of them waiting for you. But when the elevator doors opened it was a different story. The commons was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Hello?” You called out. “Is anyone here?”

“(Y/N), is that you?.” A familiar voice called out. Natasha. You dropped your bag and ran towards the voice.

“Nat!” You exclaimed and hugged her tightly, conscious of how much weight you were putting on her.

“Hey doll, I missed you. This place was starting to get a little dull without my partner in crime.” You two hugged a little while longer and finally let go, only for you to see her confused expression.

“What?” You exclaimed worriedly.

“Nothing. I just - I didn't know you were coming. No one said anything. Granted no one is really talking with each other.”

“Did something happen while I was gone?”

“Yeah, you missed about five million movies. I am banning you from the internet so they don't get spoiled for you and we can watch them together.” Natasha’s answer made you question if something was wrong with the team.

“What happened to the team, Natasha.” You questioned. She looked at you sadly before answering.

“Just some stuff. The team isn't really agreeing with each other and things are kinda hostile.”

“Is that why there isn't anyone here?”

“Not no one. Bucky is here right now.”

Bucky.

_Bucky._

“I know what your thinking,” Natasha said in your silence. “He’s better now. Why don't you stop by his room and say hey. Its down the other hall, third door on the left. Afterwards we’ll catch up.” Natasha took your bag and left, giving you a single option: say hey to the Winter Soldier.

You followed her directions to Bucky’s room. The memories you had of him were few, and those that were weren't the best. Before knocking on the door you thought of something to say. _Hey,_ too plain. _How are you?_ , that didn't make sense given the fact that you two weren't really ‘friends’ last time he saw you. _I'll just introduce myself and welcome him to the tower_ , you decided and scolded yourself for making such a big deal out of a hello. _Gosh, you always dramatize_ , you thought to yourself, _it's not a big deal._

You took a deep breath and cleared your mind. You bickering with yourself wasn't helping anything. Besides, you were ecstatic to be here just a few minutes ago. You raised your hand to bring it down against the door but stopped just before your knuckles hit. You had caught a glimpse of your frame it the glassy surface of the door. Your mood dropped instantly and you suddenly wanted to hide. You tended to be overly critical of your frame, especially when you were nervous, and right now all you could see were your flaws. The chubbiness in your stomach and thighs and the roundness in your cheeks. You seemed to look worse in this moment that you had remembered this morning. You brought your hand back down towards your body and and started to step back, to escape, when the door swung open. A familiar face looked quizzically at you and all you could do was stare with wide eyes.

“.....Hey.” Bucky said awkwardly, clearly confused of who you were. He’s very handsome, you immediately thought. You shook yourself from your haze of insecurity to respond.

“Hi.” You started. “Hi, I - I just came to say hey. I'm (Y/N).” You stuck out you hand to shake his but immediately pulled it back. “Sorry, that was super formal. I don't know why I just did that.” You giggled uncomfortably and looked down. You were getting more embarrassed by the second and just wanted to sink into the floor. It was quiet for a second between you two and you took that as a sign that you should probably leave. You straightened up and turned to leave right as Bucky finally spoke.

“I'm Bucky.” He said.

“I know,” you replied. “Not in a weird way. Like, I’m not a stalker or anything. We meet a really long time ago.”

“Oh.” He said. You looked at each other as he tried to remember who you were. His gaze felt like it was burning your skin so you looked away nonchalantly. “I'm sorry, I can't remember who you are. I don't remember most things from the past couple of years.”

“That's probably for the best then. We didn't meet under the best circumstances.” You joked.

“I'm sorry about that.” Bucky said sincerely and you immediately regretted what you had said.

“No need to be, it wasn't your fault.” You felt that you needed to leave before you messed anything up further. “Natasha’s waiting for me, i'll leave you be.”

“Yeah, See you around.” He said with a smile. You gave a small grin back and walked to your room where you knew Nat would be waiting.

“Hey, how did it go?” She asked, and sat up of the bed to look at you.

“Fine.” You replied. It was obvious to Nat that ‘fine’ didn't just cut it.

“Spill.” She said. “I want every detail.”

“Nothing happened, Nat.”

“Nothing happened my ass. You have the stupidest smile on your face.” You tried keeping a straight face after that comment but it was impossible. “So……? You are morally obligated to share with you bestie.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.” Natasha persisted. “I know that look on your face.” You just rolled your eyes and went to unpack your bag. “You think he’s cute.”

“Nat!”

“Oh my gosh, you think he’s hot! You want me to tell him or do you have the guts?”

“Shh! You don't have to be so loud.” You leave your bag to shut the door.

“You should go and talk to him. He likes you to.”

“He didn't even remember me. And besides, how would you know?”

“I saw you you guys talking.”

“You were _spying_?”

“He couldn't take his eyes off you. You have no idea how cute you look when you’re flustered.”

“You saw wrong. Someone like him wouldn't look twice at someone like me.”

“Hey, listen,” Natasha got off the bed to stand in front of you and held your hands. “You’re gorgeous even if you can't see it, inside and out. You’re not going to have another mission for a really long time. Just try and get to know him. You never know what could happen.”

_You never know what could happen._

***

You decided to take Natasha’s advice and got to know Bucky over the past couple of weeks. You two were practically inseparable by now, you were always with him unless he was with Steve. It was clear to all of the other avengers that you two had feeling for each other that extended beyond just friends, but neither of you were willing to make the first move. Your insecurities about your body kept you from letting yourself believe that Bucky would even look at you in the way that you saw him. Bucky often felt insecure about his metal arm and his past as the Winter Soldier. He knew he had caused people harm and was afraid of doing so again. So this endless cycle of ‘I love you, but I won't tell you” ran between you guys. It was frustrating that your relationship with Bucky never became what you two both so obviously wanted, so you took up the initiative to express how your feeling to him. You mentally prepared yourself for a rejection but you kept a small sliver of hope that Bucky would return your feelings.

You had made a plan to go to the small bakery near the tower and call Bucky to join you. From there would confess your feelings to him once and for all. You were finally tired of running in circles. The only person who knew about you plan was Natasha, who always knew everything when it came to you and Bucky.

That morning you had worn a new outfit that you had just bought on your latest shopping spree with Nat. Nat always knew how to make you feel beautiful and convinced you to get an outfit that you hadn't felt too sure about at the time, but now loved. With you confidence levels high, you headed to the bakery and bought two cupcakes; a dark chocolate one for Bucky and a (Your flavor choice) one for yourself. You sat down in the bakery and pulled out your phone to dial Bucky when something caught your eye. You looked up from your phone and at what had caught your attention. There was a man and gorgeous woman (thin and pretty, you noted) who had just entered the bakery, laughing and talking loudly. You looked at them jealousy at first but then you became curious. Their faces were hidden from your sight so you couldn't tell who it was exactly, but you recognized the jacket the man was wearing. Bucky was wearing one similar this morning. You thought about it for a while and realized that there was no way it was just a coincidence. _But Bucky hadn't said that he was doing anything today. Bucky always told you if he had plans._ If he hadn't told you about this he must have wanted to hide it. Embarrassed, you stood up and hide the box of cupcakes behind your back. You were going to slip of of the bakery, but just as you reached the door, Bucky and the woman turned around. The second your eyes made contact his smile fell. The woman he was with clearly felt the discomfort between you two and looked back and forth between your faces.

“Hey (Y/N), I didn't know you were going to be here.” Bucky said as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Oh, I was just leaving.” You replied, and moved to leave bakery, but not before you heard the woman speak.

“Who is that?” She asked.

“A friend.” Bucky said simply.

 _That's all I am to him,_ you thought to yourself. _That’s all I’ll ever be. Just a friend._

Upset, you slowly walked back to the tower. Every step you took felt like your legs were carrying 100 pound sandbags. You were no longer in the mood to eat the cupcake, so you gave them to a homeless man you had passed by. You were glad that no one was at the tower right now. It would let you cry your heart out or totally pig out and eat anything and everything. Or both.

Once you got into the tower, you couldn't find it in yourself to make it to your room. You laid down onto a couch in the commons and stared up at the ceiling. All you could think about was how much more beautiful the woman Bucky was with was than you. You were angry at yourself because of your jealousy. Bucky deserves better than you. You could feel your pyro powers start to show (as they did when you were angry or sad), but you didn't bother to stop them. You just focused on nothing until you couldn't any longer.

***

You had laid on that couch for hours until you heard someone enter the commons area. You didn't get up to see who it was and instead closed your eyes to ignore them. Their footsteps seemed to be going away from you until you could no longer hear them.You relaxed, thinking the person was gone but the footsteps started to come closer and get louder until they stopped right next to you. You opened your eyes to find Bucky’s face peering down at yours. You had nothing to say so you stared at his face until he spoke.

“You okay?” He said. You just shrugged your shoulders.

“I'm fine.” You replied in a voice that said you were anything _but_ fine. Bucky took notice.

“The story goes,” Bucky started, “Natasha set up Steve with the girl from accounting but she didn't tell Steve that she had and he ended up having an important meeting to go to. The girl was already here though, and I felt bad, so I decided to hang with her. You know, to make her feel better, or whatever.” As Bucky was explaining himself, you started to feel stupid for overreacting over such and innocent act. “Anyways, I didn't want to tell you because I thought that if I told you I was doing this you would take it the wrong way. Like, you would think I liked her or something and that isn't it.”

“Yeah, well, I did take it the wrong way. Sorry.” You whispered.

“No need to be. Trust me. I would have thrown a fit if we were in opposite situations.” He joked. He sat down on the coffee table and took your hands to help you sit up.

“I like you, (Y/N). As friends, yes, but more than that too.” Bucky kept your hands in his while you just sat there, stunned. “I wish I could have said that sooner but - I don't know. I just felt, and still feel, like I'm not good enough for you.” He hid his face shyly so you took the opportunity to speak.

“Well, if we are confessing our feelings I guess you should let you know that I feel the same way. About everything. I like you more than you can imagine. I don't feel so great about myself because of my weight and I thought that if I didn't like me, why would you. That's why I never said anything.” Bucky squeezed you hand in reassurance.

“I like you because you are kind and loving and caring.” He said and smiled.” And, you know, cause’ I think your cute.” You laughed at the last part. You both looked up at each other with wide grins on you faces. You were about to say something else when several claps disrupted your conversation. You and Bucky turned to see Natasha standing proudly in the darkness.

“Can I be your maid of honor?” She asked.

“Nat!” You yelled, annoyed but happy, as Bucky just let out a few soft chuckles.

_ E N D ? _

**Author's Note:**

> Drop me a request @pagethepunisher on tumblr!


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